This morning, while I was getting ready for the day and the kiddos were getting ready for school, I had a podcast playing in the background.
Then came the drive to school. The kiddos and I just talked. We talked about life, about things going on, listened to some music, laughed a little… just normal morning stuff.
After I dropped them off, I decided to turn my podcast back on while I headed to Biggby to get my coffee fix. (By the way, their cold brew caramel coffee is amazing. Always opt-in for the espresso shot too. Just saying.)
Anyway, I grabbed my coffee, got back in the car, and continued listening to the podcast on my way to the office.
That's when they started talking about a recent article from the Daily Mail. The headline caught my attention: “I’m 56 but look 15 years younger. The reason I look so good? I don’t have children.”
The article, written by Inge van Lotringen, was making the argument that not having children may be one reason she has maintained a more youthful appearance. The article also discusses research suggesting that having children can accelerate certain aspects of aging.
And as I sat there drinking my coffee, listening to the conversation, I couldn't help but think about my own life.
Because I'm a dad.
And if I'm being completely honest, being a dad is exhausting.
But as I listened to the conversation about the supposed benefits of being childfree, I kept thinking one thing: I'll take the chaos.
Not because I think everyone’s life circumstances are the same. Not because I think having children is easy. And certainly not because I think being a parent is some picture-perfect experience.
But because I find it interesting when large cultural movements start telling an entire generation that having children is something to avoid so you can “live your life.”
I’m smart enough to think outside the box. When a collective group starts trying to convince people NOT to have children, NOT to build families, and NOT to multiply, I’m probably not going to take my life advice from that group.
I’d rather go back to the original source.
The Bible says: “Be fruitful and multiply.”
God designed the family. And if God has given you the ability to have children, children are a blessing.
Now let me be brutally honest with you…Being a dad is exhausting.
There are days when I am completely worn out. Days when I don't want to “dad” anymore. Days when I would love to disappear somewhere quiet, drink my coffee in peace, and not have to deal with the noise, arguing, discipline, responsibilities, or endless questions.
Raising kids is hard, and I'm trying to raise my children in a world that I don't want them to become a part of.
I want them to be in the world, but not of the world.
I want my son to grow into a strong man who loves well and leads well. A man who loves his wife, his family, his community, his God, and his country.
I want my daughter to grow up knowing her worth isn't determined by what the world says about her. I want her to know what it means to be loved, respected, valued, and grounded in who God created her to be.
And that isn't easy.
I'm raising kids in a world filled with hatred, confusion, deception, and a whole lot of noise.
Then add the normal craziness of parenting—drama, messes, arguing, discipline, exhaustion, and the occasional moment where you wonder if you're actually doing anything right.
But here's the thing…I wouldn't trade them for anything. No amount of money. No career. No vacation. No house. No amount of “freedom.” Nothing.
Because there is something about your son or daughter crawling up beside you just because they want to be close.
There's something about your child running to you when they're hurt, or when they're scared, or when they need you. There's something incredible about having a conversation with your child and suddenly realizing, It clicked. And there's nothing quite like watching your son or daughter face a situation and respond with the values you've spent years trying to teach them.
That's when you realize…This is why I do it.
The world will tell you to live for yourself. The world will tell you that children will hold you back. The world will tell you to wait until you're financially secure. Wait until your career is established. Wait until you have the perfect house. Wait until the economy gets better. Wait until the world isn't so crazy.
But here's the problem: There will never be a perfect time.
If you're always waiting for the perfect circumstances, you may spend your entire life waiting.
So forget the advice of the world. Follow the advice of God.
If God has called you to marriage, find someone who loves Him and loves you. Men, find a godly woman. Women, find a godly man. Build a marriage. Build a family. Raise children who know they are loved, who know their worth comes from God, and who understand that they were created for something bigger than themselves.
Because yes…Parenting is exhausting. But there is also nothing in this world quite like it.
And I wouldn't trade being their dad for anything.
